Friends, if you missed the previous blog post I would encourage you to go read that one before you continue on with this one. The previous blog touches on the importance of first acknowledging the power family sin patterns hold over us and understanding which ones specifically have effected you. How can we move forward in victory when we have no idea what we are trying to gain victory over?
So, what now do we do? You may be thinking as you have come to this place of recognizing the generational sin patterns within your family. Now, is the beginning of taking action to break the cycle. Where you are doing the active work to break free and turn the page of your family's legacy to one of freedom.
Overcomer: From Burden to Opportunity
I am learning that to want to continue to make the changes of breaking the cycle I must shift my perspective. Instead of clinging to a victim mindset, I must renew my mind and believe that in Christ I am a victor. Hear me I am not saying that you aren't a victim of the things that may have happened to you. But I am saying that living in a mentality that you are a victim will inhibit you from actually walking in victory. Think of those who went through the worst of worst tragedies and have overcome. Do you think that they overcame by dwelling in a place of victimhood? Or were they able to overcome because they left the comfortability and familiarity of victimhood and stepped into freedom? Friends, I truly want you to pause and think about that. Pray about it as well too. Ask the Lord to lead and guide you.
Rather than viewing generational sin patterns as obstacles to growing, we can reframe them as opportunities for building emotional resilience and being a light in this ever growing dark world.
Ask yourself:
What lessons can I take from my family's challenges?
How have these experiences shaped my values and strengths?
What changes can I make to break negative cycles and foster healthier relationships?
How can the Lord use my story to help and encourage someone else?
How can my suffering draw me nearer to the suffering servant who has died from my sins? (Jesus was a man of sorrow acquainted with grief himself.)
By shifting our perspective, we get to walk in the power of the Holy Spirit to grow beyond our past rather than being confined to it.
Overcomer: Healing and Growth
These are principles that can help you in your journey to breaking the cycle:
Admit the Family Sin Patterns: Dr. Rob Reimer says, "You cannot heal that which you will not admit. You have to bring these patterns into the light." As discussed in Part 1, do not keep things a secret that is only keeping you in captivity longer. If you want to be free, then you must choose to live in the light with God and others.
Reflection Questions:
1. What are some of the patterns that you see?
2. How have these sin patterns affected you?
*These questions were taken out of the book "Soul Care" by Dr. Rob Reimer
Don't Compromise: Dr. Rob Reimer says "As you work to overcome family sin patterns, you have to be careful not to compromise. Because the undertow of these patterns is so strong, you have to be careful not to get sucked out to sea by the pull of these sins." You have to be willing to do the "extreme" to cut off the strongholds of these sins. What someone else may be able to tolerate you have to withhold from. Boundaries aren't meant to restrict your freedom but to actually give you a way to experience true freedom.
Reflection Questions:
1. Where do you have vulnerabilities in family sins that need more protective measures?
2. Where can you use a no-compromise policy?
3. What boundaries do you need to put into place that can give you more freedom?
*These questions were taken out of the book "Soul Care" by Dr. Rob Reimer
Get Help: As you seek to break family sin patterns, it is important that you get help. Proverbs 15:22 says "In the counsel of many there is wisdom." This verse can be applied to many different areas of life but it certainly fits this area where you want wisdom in how to break free from the specific struggle that you are facing. Getting help will also allow you to have honest conversations that would break you away from shame and secrecy. Enabling you to dive deep into self-reflection exploring your emotions, triggers, and patterns that stem from family experiences. Don't let your pride cripple you and allow you to be overcome rather than being the overcomer.
Where to find help:
1. Your Local Church
2. Your Community (of close friends and family)
3. Christian Counselor
4. Life Coach
5. Therapy
Deal Severely with your Sin Patterns: As we know if you do not radically deal with your sin it will radically deal with you. But not just you, it also affects and impacts those around you. In the Christian life, addressing sin promptly and decisively is crucial to prevent its spread and the resulting spiritual decay. And to create a life of legacy that leads to the future we want to be careful as to how we live and the decisions we make. That impacts both the current generation and the next generation.
Reflection Question:
1. What are the generational sin patterns from your family that you struggle with and need to deal with severely?
2. What plan do you need to create to help you deal with these sins severely? (E.g. seeking accountability, removing things in your life causing you to stumble, etc.)
Practice Spiritual Disciplines: I encourage you to practice spiritual disciplines that counteract your family sin. Dr. Rob Reimer says "Engaging in certain disciplines will help you to counteract certain sin patterns more effectively." For example, if you are struggling with a food addiction you can incorporate fasting. If you are someone who struggles with anger, you can create this habit of taking a pause and going away to pray and seek the Lord. Pinpoint the family sin that you find yourself struggling with and find disciplines that would help you shift your focus. Often when you are focusing on that bad habit it can get worse because of the attention you are giving it. But if you replace that bad habit with a good habit and take steps to practice it, it can become a new good discipline that you are now focused on.
Meditate on Scripture: Filling your mind and heart with the word of God is a great weapon to help you break the cycle of generational sin patterns. You can meditate on the Scriptures that focus on the virtues you want to begin building in your life. But also the scriptures that remind you of who you are in Christ and what he did on your behalf. Dr. Rob Reimer says, "Meditation moves truth from your head to your heart. It embeds the truth of God's word into your heart as a core value, and out of the overflow of the heart we speak and act." Scripture Examples:
Struggling with Anger:
1. "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1
2. "Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil." Psalm 37:8
3. "A fool gives vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back." Proverbs 29:11
Building a Brighter Future
Friends, there is hope. The Lord is very good and gracious. He desires that we walk in the freedom that he has purchased on our behalf. He has so much in store for your life. He wants you to live for something. He has purposes for you. But, to walk in those good works you have to break away from those generational sin patterns. The Lord cannot bless sin. Healing these family wounds and breaking the cycle is a journey, not a destination. But, the Lord wants to walk with you in the process of breaking, healing, and rebuilding so that you can live a life of legacy leading to the future.
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